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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

While walking by a Color Me Mine store.

Woman: “Have you ever been to this store?”

Man: “No” said with a tone as if “you are crazy woman why would I go in there?”

Woman: “We should try it out one day. Maybe we could make it into a date. You know we should do that. Go out on dates. This would be a fun date.”

Man: “We have plenty of dates. We don’t need anymore.”

Woman: “We do???”

Man: “Yes! In the fridge we have plenty of dates left over from our gathering.”

Woman: “You are such a punk. But that was a good one smarta**.”

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Dog Humor

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Does this look familiar to the rest of you dog owners???

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Woman sits on man’s lap while chatting together for a whole 1 minute.

Woman: “OK I am getting up, your breath smells life farty cabbage.”

As woman gets up man says under his breath although loud enough to be heard: “I should make cabbage more often.”

Woman: “Punk. I am going to blog about that.”

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Another year has gone by closing yet another chapter for me. There are many things that I am thankful for. There were also many wonderful and memorable events that happened this past year. In a chronological order:

  1. Visiting Death Valley with J and Indi
  2. Visiting June Lake a couple of times
  3. Being credited back $150 by Amex for a bogus damage charge by the lodge
  4. Nosh Cafe
  5. Canoing down Colorado River and camping half way
  6. Meeting Mr. Ocifer and Charlie
  7. Passing the dreaded Comprehensive Exam
  8. Making it through Pedagogical Grammar
  9. All that I learned from Dr. P
  10. Completing my MA in English
  11. Not being kicked out of the graduation ceremony for decorating my cap
  12. The perplexed look on our school’s president’s face when she looked at my cap as she handed me my diploma
  13. Indi’s First birthday
  14. Celebrating my graduation and J’s birthday with a gathering of family and friends
  15. A sauced professor, who shall remain nameless, hugging and grabbing J’s butt
  16. Meeting Donna, Cowboy, & Tess
  17. HM’s birthday *surprise guest* who never belly danced for us and his subsequent participation in our gatherings
  18. A few trips to Idyllwild
  19. Hyper Blue
  20. New awesome windows
  21. The wonderful students that I taught ESL to in El Segundo for 10 weeks
  22. Walks and chats with Barb
  23. Day trips to Matilija Creek including Charlie’s suicide attempt
  24. 2 night backpacking trip to Matilija Creek
  25. Indi the swimmer
  26. Finally receiving my diploma in the mail after administrative issues
  27. Awesome nights spent at the Hollywood Bowl
  28. Yearly camping trip to Catalina Island
  29. Volunteer work
  30. Being allowed to do Independent Study for the two classes that were canceled
  31. Povich’s Pizzeria
  32. Basic photography class at EC
  33. Editing An Experienced Resolution
  34. Almost getting kicked out of the Republican rally for wearing Obama pins and taking notes
  35. Indi Day
  36. Stuffed peppers and Jalapeños with cream cheese
  37. NaNoWriMo
  38. President Obama
  39. November 07, 2008
  40. Barb’s delicious sweets
  41. Nikon D60
  42. The failed jewelry sale
  43. All the comedy shows that we went to
  44. My ipod so I can watch all the cooking podcasts
  45. This American Life
  46. The Story
  47. All HM gatherings
  48. The fabulous Ms. CS
  49. Bread & Tulips
  50. Olive Oil, Garlic, Salt, Pepper, and Broth

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Funny Stuff

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I love funny stuff!

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This morning the orginal post that I published last night was met with a somewhat sarcastic “Nice post.” I was told that my “tone analysis” was way off base and it was not at all accurate. Well, that’s why I came up with the genius TONE analysis.  So I encouraged J to write his own version of how things took place to post along with mine.

So below is J’s version:

Standing in the dairy aisle at Costco:

Woman: “They don’t have mozzarella. We can just use the other cheese we have at home.”

Man: “Yeah we can go through the ones we have and get it next time we are here. We have plenty of cheese at home anyway. Is that OK?”

Woman: “Sounds good. Yeah we do have enough at home.”

Half hour later at TJ’s while checking out:

Woman: “You got Mozzarella.”

Man: “Yeah, I’ve got it covered. I remembered.” Said with great pride with much emphasis on the “I” parts while pointing to self. Actual thoughts: ‘See I pay attention to what you say and try to remember what we are shopping for.’

Woman: “I just thought we were gonna go through the ones we had at home.”

Man: “Oh.” Pause.  “That’s right.” Actual thought: ‘DOH!!  It looks like I don’t pay attention or remember what we are shopping for. ‘

Woman: “I am so glad YOU had it all covered!” Chuckles. Giggles.

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Standing in the dairy aisle at Costco:

Woman: “They don’t have mozzarella. We can just use the other cheese we have at home.”

Man: “Yeah we can go through the ones we have and get it next time we are here. We have plenty of cheese at home anyway. Is that OK?”

Woman: “Sounds good. Yeah we do have enough at home.”

Half hour later at TJ’s while checking out:

Woman: “You got Mozzarella.”

Man: “Yes, I’ve got it covered. I remembered!” Said with great pride with much emphasis on the “I” parts while pointing to self. Tone analysis: I remembered and you didn’t. You have no faith in me. I am not useless. I remembered. I am “da” man! Na na na na na na!

Woman: “I just thought we were gonna go through the ones we had at home.”

Man: “Oh.” Pause.  “That’s right.” Tone analysis: crap, I thought I had her. God dang it.

Woman: “I am so glad YOU had it all covered!” Chuckles. Giggles. Thinks to self: this is what happens when men think they have it all under control.

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“I can’t find my pink sports bra. Have you seen it?”

“Yeah, I needed some support the other day and used it.” Said with a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah right! My bra would be too big for you.” Checks the size of the man’s chest, “yeah, too big, your boobies are just the right size for a training bra!”

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