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Archive for March 4th, 2008

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I did something brave today…well at least I think it was brave. I revisited a chapter of my life from over a decade ago. A reopened a friendship door which was previously closed. People come and go in our lives, only a few leave a lasting impression. As we grow older our lives seem to become busier and busier. At times our path takes us into a different direction and the dynamic of our friendships and relationships with others changes. I have found that this is especially true in LA for some reason. Everyone is always very busy running. I am, by all means, one of those people. For as far back as I can remember I have been running from one place to the other, whether it is work, school, workouts, or a second job. And now, more than ever, I find myself being busy with work and school, and because of these two commitments I feel sometimes alienated from the rest of the world and my friends.

It is during times like these that the dynamics of friendships change. You move forward in one direction and others move in a different direction. Then one day you realized that you have not seen or talked to some of your friends in a very long time—too long. There is no animosity or the desire to end a friendship, you just slowly lose touch. Sometimes we think about people in our past and wonder how they are doing and if they are well. I know I do about a very few people.

Today I had to go to West LA for an appointment. I drove by an old friend’s house. Ironically, a couple of weeks ago I had a dream about the friend who had introduced us. I thought about both people and our friendships. I contemplated contacting the friend that visited my dreams. But I was not really sure that she would want to be contacted by someone from her past. When she left LA she was not in a good place in her life. She was heading towards a painful divorce from her husband whom she loved very much. For years she desperately tried to salvage her marriage, until she finally gave up. When she left I hoped that she would keep in touch. She never did. I understood; it was not personal. She needed to move forward and start a new life and leave all that happened here behind, she needed to disassociate with her life or chapter in LA. I Googled her and found out a little more than I thought I would. It is amazing how the internet has the power to connect people and give a small glimpse into someone else’s life. Ironically, I have been found through the Internet myself by old friends with whom I had lost touch. However, I chose not to contact her because I just did not know if she welcomed being contacted.

On my way back from my appointment I decided that I was going to stop by and say hello to our mutual friend. I was right there driving by her street and I did something that I have never done before, I showed up to her door step unannounced. There we three different door bells and I rang all three of them. There was no answer. I could hear voices inside though. My phone rang and I walked back to my car as I spoke to the person on the other end. Once I hung up, I thought, well maybe this is a sign from God. I rang the door bell and no one answered so maybe I should just leave. I sat there for a minute and thought to myself, this is silly, I am here. I am going to knock on the door and if no one answers, then I am leaving. Sure enough, she answered the door and was shocked and happy to see me. We spent the next hour and half chatting about our lives and briefly about the lives of our two mutual friends. One of them of course was the one that I dreamt about. It was very nice; she had thought about me as well, she just did not know how to find me.

It was nice to reconnect. She was a good influence in my life, during a time when my life was unstable and chaotic. She offered me my very first job in her daycare when I was in high school. It felt good to have her back in my life again, especially, at a time when I am a much happier and balanced person because of the positive changes that I have made in my life. So much changes in a decade. She told me something that brought a smile to my face. She said she was surprised that our mutual friend did not keep in touch with me. But then again, she did not keep in touch with anyone else from LA but her. It confirmed my own thoughts: it was not personal, she needed to disassociate with the life that she led when she was here.

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